Remembering that time I met a NASCAR driver and when he asked me if I watched nascar I said “eww no, I watch formula 1” Autism or Aura we may never know

I just gave my gf my debit card and told her to buy herself GOOD tickets to Alaska. Aka, best times, 1st class etc and she bought coach on a red eye😂 that was about $2000 cheaper than I was expecting damn I love this woman

Whenever Elton comes on my Spotify, it always makes me think of 🪼 you might be gone bro but your taste in music is still echoing 🫶🏻

I rarely think about how dangerous my job is because frankly I’m extremely good at it. But when there’s dead bodies floating around & people fighting for their lives on the radio it’s gets a little harder to stay detached.

If you ever wanna freak out some conservative Texans throw out a couple “inshallah habibi’s” they hate it😂oh nooo scary words 😭😭

I don’t think I even wanna know many thousands of dollars i woulda saved over the past 5 years if I just bought an espresso machine for our place in Alaska and learned how to cook Thai food 😭

I (6’ 180) did some grappling with my 6’2” 230lb collegiate wrestler buddy yesterday and boy howdy I feel like I got hit by a truck today lmao. I got him with a couple good sweeps and the rest of the time I got ragdolled & held down like an angry toddler 😭😭

My boss is stressing about me dragging a boat 35 miles on a 2 lane paved road😂bro doesn’t know I drag goosenecks full of horses up and down sketchy mountain roads through blizzards and shit. Boats don’t even shift their weight and kick the trailer when you turn too sharp 😂😂

@ everyone: if you’re in shape and somewhat athletic learn jiu jitsu. If you’re not, buy a pistol, learn how to use it, and keep it on you. You never know when someone is gonna attack you, there ain’t no refs & you wanna be the person that decides when it’s over/who gets to live

Tourist shit 💕

I need a vacation from Mariah’s vacation I’m so tired my eyes keep going out of focus

Season 1 of true detective is the best TV show I’ve ever seen. Holy fuck.

My life would be so much easier if people operated under the assumption that I know exactly whats going on and they don’t know shit about fuck. I spend 150 days a year on the ocean, & 60+ in the backcountry & you’re from fkin ohio. You would literally die out here w out me🙃🔫

I genuinely love that whenever something out of the ordinary or extra difficult or both comes up, my boss just calls me. I always respond with “no problem I’ll make work” without a plan or a second thought. Then I make it work.