Ideas we think would make good horror movies: - invisible mountain lion - invisible bear - snakes on a plane (invisible) - invisible tick - invisible screaming elk - deer are driving the cars, we are crossing the road (maybe also invisible)

🎶 You got a fast car, I got a plan to run in front of it 🎶

our Spotify wrapped just dropped

Out: girlbossing In: girlmossing - we're resting on trees and rocks with ferns and liverworts which are also abundant on moist the forest floors

girls shed their ugg boots in the spring the way deer shed their antlers and I think that connection to nature is beautiful

you're not "hiking" you're just walking in the woods for attention

can i come over and stare at you like this

I bet whoever coined the phrase "silly goose" never actually met one before

it's another lovely spring day to REMIND YOU DELINQUENTS TO STOP "RESCUING" BABY ANIMALS. THEIR MOMS ARE MOST LIKELY NEARBY - SO MIND YOUR BUSINESS. FAWNS, DROP EM'. BIRDS, LEAVE EM'. RACCOONS, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. FOXES?! -SWIPER NO SWIPING. ARMADILLO?¿? ARMADILL-NO.

That’s it — if you want to have an opinion on abortion regulation, then tell me how we pee with tampons first.

If you keep your fish and drinks in the same cooler, don't @ me.

Asserting my dominance at work by keeping my Indeed tab open on my computer when I walk away from my desk

You want a scary costume? Try a big head carp or invasive hydrilla

When you become a mom, is there some innate reaction that takes place forcing you to make 10 Facebook posts a day

Ahem, we said 5 items and that’s only 4

This is why I check the list twice

Your Outie picks up trash even when it’s not theirs. Your Outie knows that baby deer isn’t “lost,” just vibing. Your Outie admires wildlife without giving unsolicited belly rubs. Your Outie does not release pet goldfish into local waterways.

Being called for jury duty is my dream

I believe that Southwest’s boarding set up is just a social experiment

his name is Robert, but he goes by Bob (cat)