This is a crime against romance

Well….I suppose I did like Eloise’s hair

A nurse just gave me the medical advice to pray on it and put it in his hands, because everything happens for a reason. Oh, my god

Is there such a thing as PBSD post book stress disorder because I’m pretty sure I have it

Finally feels like fruit + cheese + herb + balsamic season

Sprint highlight was Max wearing a not terrible hat

This orange smoke cannot be safe ???

MAX BACK WITH THE GOOD HAT

I continue to be incapable of typing ‘got it’ in work chat. It’s ‘go tit’ every goddamn time

Me, casually mentioning Pride and Prejudice at work One of my favorite coworkers, responding “I’ve never seen it. That’s the Mr Darcy one right?” 🤯

Look I’m not saying the Temptations got it wrong but what I really want is a cloud on a sunny day

I really try not to judge parenting —because I’m not a parent! I’ll never be a parent!— but turns out letting a 4 year-old chug a mountain dew at 6:30pm on a weeknight is the exception

A song about a special place in hell with the lyric ‘And all they serve is pepsi’ is the best thing to happen to me this year

It’s a find your missing airpods in the washing machine kind of Monday 🫠

Me: Why do you look so wobbly? Kevin Montrose: Uh… was that, by chance, boozy ice cream?

If only we had taxed the rich maybe none of this would have happened

“Are you looking forward to finally seeing Sweden?” “Very funny. I know we’re going to Denmark.” “….we’re spending a day in Sweden.” 😬😬😬 << Kevin Montrose, neglecting to read my excellent itineraries, again!

I never said the book is good. I said I loved it. Those two are VERY different things

Red Bull gives you wiiiings