Zoom meetings are just modern day seances. “There is someone who wants to join us.” “Lawrence, are you there?” “We can’t hear you.” “Can you hear us?”

If women’s intuition is real, where are all the female hedge funds?

Inviting a 30 year old to a party that starts at 11 PM is elder abuse

The Drunk Republican Pedro Pascal is the Gerard Butler of Mark Ruffalos

The question isn't IF Bitcoin becomes the global reserve asset. The question is whether you'll be one of those people explaining to your grandkids why you thought a walrus JPEG was a better investment than digital gold backed by thermodynamics. History will remember this era

if alcohol damages your short term memory imagine what alcohol can do

the meteorologist who devised the windchill factor has died. he was 86. but he felt like 75.

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk

"Dark triad" sounds too sexy. We should call it the "Needy Cluster" or the "Ego Trio." Or the "Tantrum Suite." copyright hoe_math 2025 do not steal I will sue

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying banger after inspecting a painting

> “Mommy, how did we get so rich?” > “Your Dad is a complete psychopath with unlimited risk tolerance.”

I'm upset that my parents never got rich enough for me to become a socialist.

Beer is narcan for when you overdose on Microsoft Teams

Laura Ingraham The Federal Reserve is neither Federal, nor a Reserve.

"Eat the rich" is a more popular slogan than "Feed the poor". Pay attention.

Jokes on Epstein, turns out the state didn't have any evidence never kill yourself

Sorry I missed your call. I watched it ring and everything.

"how can I use these rocks to make a fake world that devours the real one"

The hardest thing about chess is the other guy is always doing some shit

if you aren’t sleeping with me then you’re sleeping against me