modern medicine has nothing on the magical healing factor applied to your soul and entire being when you hear a good carly rae jepsen song

Spent five years writing my little internet novel about a guerrilla conspiracy in NYC, partying & unrequited love—hardest, weirdest, most rewarding process of my life. Out in Spring 2027

Left my phone at home and went to farmers market then stopped by a cafe and read

Let’s get down to brass tacks. This is the best album of all time music.apple.com/us/album/folkl…

This rocked. So funny, so brash, then turns around with a dose of empathy on the turn of a dime. And drops on my birthday too Two Dollar Radio

I’m trying to get this high and waisted tonight

At a bar and I don’t drink beer but they had a $5 deal for specific ones and I got this one for Dylan Mulvaney. Was pretty yum #woke

You’re sad and live in New York? Wow. You should write something fucking boring and bad about it

Gyal yuh pussy good you grip me good a me fi tell you

For some reason my coworkers aren’t reacting positively to me singing the chorus of Current Affairs by Lorde

Italy hostels booked

When I’m drunk at the club I wanna be felt up

Love Audrey Hobert and she deserves success but .. where were you all for Grace Ives

They're calling me the most patient and kind customer ever

Genuinely one of the greatest tweets of all time

Many are calling me the Jewish Alcaraz