It’s Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley, isn’t it. I’m not falling for this.

If you’re not sure if you really want to grab a coffee on the way to a morning session, always get the coffee. Otherwise you will see everybody else looking so happy with their coffees and spend the first half of the session fuming with envy and regret. Just get the coffee.

They see me on the overground with a cello and big fancy noise-cancelling headphones and probably assume I’m listening to a Bruckner symphony but I am in fact listening to Disney’s Greatest Hits

Sewing machines are worse than printers. With printers sometimes you do everything right and it still eats a bunch of paper and ok that’s annoying but with sewing machines sometimes you do everything right and it eats your trousers 😨

Ok so my love of 20th century Russian music is well documented but not everybody knows about my obsession with retro cartoons and… you just need to see this: youtube.com/shorts/Ls0kGR5… 👏 👏 👏 Johannes Moser

Practice is morally neutral self care

I’m hunting wabbits…

When your train gets in late enough for a substantial delay repay, but still early enough to get you to stage door 10mins before rehearsal

Essential attire for church concerts when there’s an entire choral society queueing for one freezing toilet cubicle

Little Drummer Boy: “I am a poor boy… I have no gift to bring that’s fit to give a king…” Mary: “That’s ok! We are more than honoured by your presence 🙏” LDB: “So I brought my drum 😀” Mary: “GET OUT”

Ultimate Xmas bass drop #iykyk

When you get on the tube with a cello everybody openly stares at you as if you’ve grown an extra head, but the strict No Talking On The Tube rule is still observed… so it’s an entire carriage full of people just silently staring at you 😳

This morning’s barista: “I’ve heard the cello is really difficult to learn…” Me: “I don’t know really, I don’t play anything else” Barista: “How long did it take you to learn?” Me: “I’m still learning!” Barista: “How long have you been learning?” Me: “….28 years…”

Been through both Heathrow Airport and LaGuardia Airport in the last week and security at both airports treated my cello like it was a newborn baby. Very demure, very mindful 😭🙏

Please somebody tell me it’s not just me

Find someone who looks at you the way a pit musician looks at the MD monitor during a vamp

Here’s something I get a lot after concerts: “You look SO MUCH like my cousin/sister-in-law/neighbour’s ex. Doesn’t she look just like her? You do, you look so much like her! Hang on… I’ve got a photo somewhere… really you must see this, she looks just like you!” The pic:

Neighbour’s toddler just pointed at me and squealed, “CELLO 😀😀😀” when I did not actually have my cello with me, so I guess that’s my name now 🤷‍♀️