big day for girls named sam

in the mood to ruin my life for a sandy liang bag

i’m sorry for getting road rage in the cvs beauty aisle

if you think someone is following you at night, don’t turn on the lights when you get home. flicker the lights to make them think your house is haunted

i need a career in something where everyone claps after i’ve done my job (broadway actor, news anchor, pilot of airplane)

me standing in the middle of the road to see if the bus is coming: 🐥

with every clementine i eat i grow stronger

i want what meredith grey has (immortality)

i’m ready for whatever life throws at me (as long as it’s not knives)

i’m ready for whatever life throws at me (as long as it’s nothing bad)

i’m a simple girl: someone types “yoy” in the group chat instead of “you,” i respond with “yoy hoy minoy”

“SOMEONE STOP HER!!!!! SHE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS!!!!!!” - me watching myself spend my own money, make my own choices, and speak my own thoughts

about to share something crazy because i trust you all: i miss massachusetts :(

i’m a triple threat (not a doctor, not a lawyer, not not an engineer)

he’s gonna jump on me and squash me like a bug

what i’m looking for in a partner:

- respects that i love sitting down
-