I have just treated the boss to a new stick blender for Christmas. Well, she had just made the soup from the left over veg and I burnt the motor out the old one. Am I in the good books?

Sprouts!

Another holiday booked by the boss. At this rate I will never retire.🌞✈️ How does one overcome such an issue?

Son #2 living the dream in Mexico City🌞 and I am freezing my nuts off. Life is so unfair😂

Still daylight at 1630hrs. Summer is on its way🌞

Nearly 8.5k run along the old railway and canal. Frees the mind but the legs are moaning.

West Midlands police chief retires after Maccabi fan ban row. So he fecks up and walks away with a big, fat pension. He should be stripped of it!

The boss is looking at restaurants and hotels again! Let me sort out the festive expenses first. Gareth Williams. at least it not equine stuff but she does need a new pair of boots.

A Pakistani who raped a teenage girl in a park was a so-called asylum seeker. Sherez Malik lived in Italy, Germany & France before arriving in UK. Italy, Germany, and France are UN designated 'safe countries'. These third-world chancers are not fleeing war or persecution.

My latest cartoon for tomorrow's The Telegraph Buy a print of my cartoons at telegraph.co.uk/mattprints Original artwork from chrisbeetles.com

I wonder how many households throw away their Sunday roast carcass? Why not make a stock from it to use when prepping future meals? Probably everyone from our local neighbours given they always put out a green bin every week😕 95%+ of our waste is recycled or composted.

Those 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿 leeks are wilting and the 🐉 has had its fire snuffed. A certain ex-job will be on Dave’s bed making duties for a few days as part of his recovery process.

Over the past few weeks it’s been a real shame to see some prominent accounts be lost to scammers. On the plus side, it’s given me the opportunity to build them in #Lego to promote their excellent work! Please give the awesome British Army 🇬🇧 Paramedic Natasha Day MBE a follow! ✅🚨

Eat real food. Stop buying boxes and tubs of ultra processed supermarket slop. It makes you ill and £ billions for them. Convenience is killing us. Learn more about where your food and water comes from. Real food: meat, eggs, fish, green veg and animal fat.

Northern travels. The dark side was very dark and damp. The M62 was thick fog so Leeds looked beautiful from a distance. God’s country was very, very dark and very damp. Back darn sarf and it’s very, very, very dark and very, very, damp.

Wednesday 18th February to Thursday 2nd April is Lent. We won't see this celebrated on the force intranet (unlike the non-Christian religious festivals) so I thought I'd post it here.

Just driven back from Southampton and all the way to Oxford it has been biblical. Does that Swedish flat pack store sell arks⛈️ To all those twats in Audis, FFSs slow down🤬

Join us for a run this Sunday at 10am! Meet us at the Milton Keynes Museum to follow a 3km, 6km or 10km route in the beautiful Ouse Valley Park. You can run, walk or jog – beginners and family groups welcome 👟 Find out more: ow.ly/Q7Zb50YmOSw

£40,000 to leave the country. If I ask nicely will they pay me?

Can they do it for trains? SWR Help