Hopefully this will work and get me back into my account.

Made up. After years of thinking is lost this account and managed to get back in. It's great to be back.

Bollocks. Realised Children in Need day and got to go to client's off and work there today.

Client has a raffle for an ipad mini but only for perm members of staff 'for children in need'. Inpolitely refused offer for a ticket.

RT Dan Roan: Pool closure 'makes mockery' of Olympic legacy bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan…

RT Jonesy: #ReasonsWhyWeKnowWeAreBest 3

Why is phone reception on O2 now so wank? @o2. This blackberry on t-mobile always has a great signal but my o2 phone rarely.

RT You had one job: Greetings card designer you had one job. pic.x.com/yNOfnVX5o5

RT @MarkCooperXYZ: “@mojitos65: surely illegal? This is what's wrong with this country. ” // Sack her

Why do most golfers feel the need to dress like such wankers?

So far the #ps4 gets the thumbs up.

A really fat faced chinese person always makes me chuckle.

@deadredbug I hope you have a great day then; double congratulations!

I bet none of the media reports will even mention Mandella's ANC and terrorist involvement. Just a saint in heaven.

RT GrumpyCockney👌: Nelson Mandela, dead?... pic.x.com/O0HRed7KIK

RT @thekeithchegwin: Mate says he can cure my gullibility. All I have to do eat dog poo twice a day

Just tell him you heard and knows it's him so no point trying to hide it..

RT Andy Carroll: Thousands are said to be gathering outside Nelson Mandela's house. Police in Peckham are on a high state of alert

My 6 year old didn't let me down at school play. Had one of main parts and stands there on stage, picks nose, inspects it and then eats it.

If you had a rear view mirror on your push bike you are a wanker.