A haunted house, but it’s just guys telling you to smile more.

people just don’t go to the windows then to the walls like they used to

Too hot for the Kohl’s rn

you can lock in without deactivating your socials btw

Me rediscovering my old tweets

Getting drunk on a Sunday off these cider flights

Thinking about the time I went on a date and the guy said he was considering fucking his long term friend just prior to meeting me

God's plan for me does not involve Linkedin at all

Every time I try to book a trip with friends I am reminded why I never try to book a trip with friends

how lucky do two people have to be in order to fall for each other at exactly the right time in exactly the right way.

men that flirt good scare me like you’re a whore aren’t you?

What’s the dress code for the rapture tomorrow?

Velocirapture tmrw rawrrrr

So glad everyone’s talking about the rapture, my favorite dinosaur

Now that it’s officially fall I regret to report the closest I got to having a summer romance was a guy I went out with a couple times accidentally calling me his “novia” to a Venezuelan immigrant child

People just don’t *facepalm* like they used to

Introducing myself at the work ice breaker activity with my fun fact being I’m good at twitter

A haunted house, but it’s just dudes saying they swear they’ll change for you

I gave you a follow back, not a tinder match, don’t “hey beautiful” me