It’s officially the 21st night of September, so don’t forget to leave out milk and cookies for Earth, Wind & Fire.

The onion has been tweeting this for at least a decade. Let that sink in.

Retweet and follow if you’re ready for Harris-Walz 2024!

He is dumb as a rock.

It’s a takes a special kind of suck to make me wonder if I detest you more than Donald Trump. Bravo, JD Vance. Brav-fucking-o. You just might be the single most dislikable and detestable excuse for a human being that has ever stepped foot on this earth. And Steve Bannon exits.

Be sure to tune in tomorrow for el nuevo 95.5- Musica! Musica! Musica!

You do not, under any circumstances, “gotta hand it to Dick Cheney”

Good bye, Twitter And thanks for dinner, Elon

We’d like to announce that while we are not a hotel, we are a concept of a hotel.

The debate last night for anyone who missed it...

The Wieners Circle remains undefeated.

Meanwhile, here's John Candy at 18:

For only the second time in our 179-year history, the editors of Scientific American are endorsing a candidate for president. That person is Kamala Harris. | Editorial bit.ly/4daH36q

I love him. This should be our next James Bond and I’m not even kidding.

Gritty lives in Philadelphia. That is the context.

Happy birthday Stephen King !

BARK BARK BARK

Dammit

I don't know how it's possible, but they say the whole thing just disses the shit outta Drake.