As court case between Joey Barton and Jeremy Vine gets under way, we ask...is there some way they both can lose?

Mayor of Barnsley urges local dog owners to stop their dogs barking this evening so people can hear the fireworks.

Prisoner released in error from Wandsworth still at large despite several clues.

Prince William always thinking of others and picks something up in Brazil for his depressed uncle.

Jeremy Vine says he was devastated by "bike nonce" jibe as he very rarely rides a bike.

Now easier to get out of prison than IKEA.

Yeah...but it's so easy with hindsight, isn't it?

Been to IKEA today and torn between this and the Kountaslut. Does anyone have a preference?

John Lewis 2025 Christmas ad opens with a disconsolate Andrew Windsor trudging through winter snow. He enters a dimly lit house where we find Philip Schofield and Huw Edwards who are watching a video together. For the first time, Andrew smiles as he settles down to join them.

Open AI say it's investigating after a vulnerable young man confessed to ChatGPT he was thinking of supporting Man Utd and it directed him to the supporters club rather than trying to talk him down.

Deputy Labour Leader effectively resigns as she says government should stick to manifesto.

Lineker makes Christmas TV comeback.

As Alan Carr wins Celebrity Traitors we ask...can a poofter ever be trusted?

Anyone failing to make the weight to be retrained as a marker buoy.

Joey Barton convicted of making posts suggesting Jeremy Vine is a paedophile, as judge recommends he just call him a cunt in future like everyone else.

Prison service to replace all personnel responsible for releasing prisoners with bastards who check your trolley in Costco.

Home Secretary says she will take inspiration from Danish system on immigration control and will only serve Bacon in asylum hotels.

Today is World Pianist Day. We couldn't find a picture of a Pianist so here's the next best thing.

Fears tunnelling skills may be lost for ever as prisoners can now simply walk out of the front door.