i wanna be like the buddha

honestly I've been in really bad shape eating a lot, drinking and smoking constantly for several days so now I'm trying to recover so I can keep doing things

already feel like last month was so good in retrospect.... for some reason I was both more inspired and relaxed than usual for a couple weeks

I'm gonna try to force myself to be more active for some time and see if I get better or something comes up

my problem really is that I might get angry or upset at something random, and then it bothers me for a long time.... it takes a while to go back feeling normal again

suddenly got happy because a friend watched a movie i recommended and they liked it a lot

still happy last night I watched one of my fave movies with a friend and they really loved it... maybe more than me in a way, because I've changed my opinion a bit but still affected me