- Eat
- Pray
- Ape into pre-revenue AI startups at a $2B valuation
- Love

the biggest 'im him' performance ever.

bro got his masters and then just cooked for 30 years

Relationships should be 50/50.

I buy her flowers.

Her dad gives me a term sheet for my pre-product AI startup at a $50 million valuation.

me and my cofounder specifically booked a hotel room with this bathroom

My dream gf:
- 5ft 8in
- 27-33yo
- blue eyes
- loves nyc
- very ambitious & driven
- loves running & reading
- $300k-500k total comp
- her dad is a partner at a Tier 1 VC
- dad can lead Seed + Series A rounds
- dad generates shareholder value

i have a problem with my eyes i cant see myself coming into work today

The plan:
- leave work (6pm)
- link up with the boys (wework on varick st)
- humane pins on
- pound 3 cups of cold brew
- bust open maxed out 16in m3 macbook pros (space gray)
- speak to ZERO users
- generate shareholder value
- order doordash ($110)
- eat in silence

during a meeting i accidentally said 'percent' instead of 'basis points' so the CFO took me to the rooftop and broke my kneecap

My parents raised my sister and I as a 'team' not a 'family'

- I was put on a PIP at 9 years old.
- I used to have a brother.
- My uncle joined a competing family in the area.

I'm in a WeWork. My first reaction to the building shaking was that it must be VCs running down the hall to meet the new gen AI startup that just moved in next to me.

Airbnb in 2013
- $50 for cozy apartment in downtown
- Host greets and welcomes you at arrival
- Complimentary snacks and drinks

Airbnb in 2024
- $450 for catfishing you into run-down studio
- Cryptic puzzle to get keys out of lockbox
- Pay $200 to clean the entire apartment

When a VC asks a pre-seed startup for a financial model 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

Pro-tip:

If you are at a WeWork office, always check under the seat for money the startup that previously used the space forgot to burn.

the original Xbox UI went so fucking hard dear lord

Friend making $20/hr as a barista: “No worries bro, I'll cover this one and you'll get the next one!”

Friend making $450k as a software engineer: “Can you Venmo me $3.62 for your share of the Uber ride?”

You don’t need to pay $18,000 to receive military grade punishments you just need to work at a startup

one day you're young and cool and the next you’re building b2b saas

Do I love my job and feel fulfilled every day? No.

But do I love my coworkers and enjoy spending time with them? Also no.