Waiting like 2hr for the homie in Lisbon, lowkey if I traveled solo ever I’d need to pack like 3 portable chargers, my ahh ain’t built for this 😂

There’s real life grown men/women that take 3 days to reply to texts. I promisssseeee you, it’s neither that deep nor are you that important 😭

Been on a scary DQ bender lately

dairy's gotta be expired at least a week before you start tripping

I’d sacrifice about half of y’all for a jaguars-titans TNF game rn

Nothing like getting smoked with a car repair bill after a golf trip and bachelor trip b2b weekends 🤢

Vancouver does this woated thing everytime after a massive weekend and I’m so hungover and sweaty it just happens to be the hottest day

I think I could strictly live off Costco gyozas

I bought this aluminum free deodorant bc it was on sale, and man, it just straight up does nothing lol

anything more annoying than being in a really bad mood at work next to someone in a really good mood?

(Watching shark week) do you think the sharks think the tagged ones are snitches?

I actually envy the mental space of people that drive the speed limit and stay in one lane

Man, I genuinely hate crows so much

My good buddy is so TV coded he covered up the only basement window 💀

Dollar drink days over today, shit getting real.

Like if you agree.

FedEx drivers all Asian. Amazon drivers all brown. Por Que?

Without fail always behind the restaurant owner at the produce store