I feel like these resume points are in the wrong order.

I guess Chris Gaines wasn’t available? #BidenHarrisInauguration

Twenty-three years of seeing my all-time favorite band. Happy birthday Umphrey's McGee ! #rawk

Likely Matthew Stafford destinations: 1) Indianapolis 2) Denver 3) Philadelphia 4) Washington DC #Lions

I need 3K retweets in the next 24 hours: My name is Eric Garcia. I am running against Devin Nunes. I am a disabled Marine Corps veteran — and I'm going to win. Please retweet this & ask everyone you know to follow this campaign and join us. This is a critical mission. Let’s go!

The light beam and cable bisect Umphrey's McGee and the audience, representing the division(s) between artist and viewer. However the two groups also reach towards each other, indicating a symbiotic relationship. Plus it’s a cool fucking picture.

“This second-down penalty review is brought to you by Walmart Grocery. Fresh and fast, every day at Walmart Grocery.” (Cost - $1,200,000) #nfl

#nfl: We honor the legacy of MLK. #nfl: We have one black head coach.

Looks like these chucklefucks didn’t coordinate before the halftime show. #HalfTimeShow #SuperBowlLVI

Make no mistake: the next GOP targets are contraception, interracial marriage, and same-sex marriage. They want to plunge the country back into the 1950s. #GOPWarOnWomen

Elon Musk is chomping at the bit for this Twitter situation to get reigned in.

FORCE GOP CONGRESS MEMBERS TO LOOK AT THE PICTURES OF CHILDREN SLAUGHTERED IN THEIR CLASSROOMS. MAKE THEM SEE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR INACTION.

Does Elon Musk have to take Viagra to get an erection? I’m just asking questions. Trevor Noah

There is not a SINGLE mention of Trump’s “announcement” on the Fox News website. CC: The Lincoln Project

We’ll, it turns out Elon Musk was just buying the 2024 election by taking over Twitter, and reinstating TFG. #Twittershutdown

🚨 BREAKING 🚨 Former NFL quarterback Tim Couch has declined “multiple offers” to join JD Vance campaign strategy team. #VanceIsCreepy #CouchHumper #MagaAreWeird

Hey FanDuel FanDuel Sportsbook - your media agency is placing #Fanduel ads all over a news story about a police officer raping a child. Do better. CC:Nandini Jammi has left this hellscape

Truth of life: nothing a bite of Chongqing noodlescan't fix; if one can't, take two。energy-boosting！

这份steak，nutrient-rich，一口下去it's really 幸福感爆棚。