Sendejo? More like pendejo, amirite? #thursdaynightfootball #packers #eagles

Watching the Bucs turn the ball over is like watching a great jazz musician. At this point, they’re riffing on the very idea of turnovers. Constantly pushing the form.

Me, watching round five with a completely blank expression: "Sit the fuck down, Colby. Sit down again. Yes. Cry, bitch"

Marriage Story should’ve been disqualified on the basis of haircuts alone

Joanna won that fight. Come on judges.

I got Romero 3-2, but there's no way the judges give him this fight.

Andrew Yang is over here churning out absolute pablum in response to just criticisms. what a shill this dude is

"Sorry you feel this way" fuck you bitch

Bernie needs to rip this dumb asshole's throat out. He's too goddamn nice

Suddenly Biden has all these promises on policies that he didn’t have a week ago- and they’re diametrically opposite to his 40 year record.

From my lockdown room in #Paris things look grim, but here is some positive advancements #coronavirus: -China has closed down its last coronavirus hospital. Not enough new cases to support them. - Doctors in India have been successful in treating Coronavirus using...

Here is the Saints’ potential starting offense after signing Emmanuel Sanders: QB: Drew Brees RB: Alvin Kamara WR1: Michael Thomas Slot: Sanders WR2: 24th overall pick TE: Jared Cook LT: Terron Armstead LG: Andrus Peat C: Erik McCoy RG: Larry Warford RT: Ryan Ramczyk YEESH.

Take an eerie walk through the empty streets of Amsterdam, San Francisco, Rotterdam, and New York City thisiscolossal.com/2020/03/covid-…

ME: [shaking with rage, absolutely furious at my kids for their bullshit, filled to the brim with the poison of suppressed emotion] “Good night, kids. I love you.”

my favorite part of parenting is getting my kids ready for school. cajoling, repeating myself, grinding my teeth as I shake with rage — I love starting each day the angriest I’ve ever been

the path to becoming the greatest quarterback in Bears history is short but treacherous, and the only reward is the label “better than Jay Cutler”

I am absolutely devastated about Norm Macdonald. Norm had the most unique comedic voice I have ever encountered and he was so relentlessly and uncompromisingly funny. I will never laugh that hard again. I'm so sad for all of us today.