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[girl petting my dog] what's his name? [me thinking about how women want to feel safe] seat belt

buying cool stickers for the people you like is a love language

my most dated take is mobile ordering is one of the bleakest advancements in recent memory. I can appreciate the time saving but life is about dilly dallying & interacting with strangers. Ordering a coffee & snagging it from a counter without interacting with anyone feels gross

just had the best sandwich for lunc- “gronk is that true? gripe explain this? grimace is this real? gilligan does this matter? god am I here? gork summarize?”

the more I see people tag grok to explain a basic premise the more I want to tag their parents to get them to explain where they went so wrong

the golden rule of 3 beverages is one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate

be kind to your knees because one day out of nowhere they start talking back

Puberty

me who has zero time to do all the tasks already on my to do list: I should really start baking my own sourdough

no disrespect to the profession but no personal trainer is going to motivate me more than Britney Spears telling me I better work bitch

very off putting when people pronounce the L in both