ooooooohhhhhh so it has been brought to my attention that i haven’t taken my be more chill meds in 5 days because of who I am as a person and it’s turns out I totally need those so the great mystery of my recurrent ocular migraines/severe depressive episodes has been solved.

i get all of my medical care at the same hospital i work for so it’s always fun chatting with friends while i get my boobs squished during a mammogram

i’ve stayed silent long enough RFK Jr’s voice sounds like if Harvey Fierstein fucked a death rattle someone needs to check on this man in all seriousness

if people get to believe with every fiber of their being that the earth is flat then i get to believe that trump blew bill clinton

International Men's Day is just a fake holiday to sell more men.

megyn kelly is disgusting, sub-human trash. her children will have to live with the fact that their mother blatantly and enthusiastically supported sexual assault and pedophilia. i hope everything she’s ever supported and defended happens to her tenfold. i hope she rots.

i love how onions were like “maybe if i make it so their eyeballs will burn with the fire of a thousand suns they won’t want to eat me” and humans were like “lol bet”

“All women do is use men” First of all, I can’t remember the last time I found a man useful.

How about a Black Friday for medical bills

that’s…. not a thing

get a new struggle

when faced with a life event that leaves you a room temperature mess of a human i highly recommend FaceTime with Meg: The Untameable Shrew ™️ she will let you be sloppy as fuck and she won’t judge you even a little bit. she is The Best of us.

i wished i believed in a god because if i did i would pray to have the confidence of a white man who doesn’t care that he’s a stupid fucking idiot

just had to tell a parent that her 4 month old has a huge chance of seizing and/or suffering permanent damage to her body if she doesn’t let us treat her fever of 104.7°F and rising. this might be the flu season that makes me leave the bedside.

Usually something along the lines of, “That’s super annoying, can you stop?”

Fun Fact: I actually *did* have trump announcing the first official hunger games on my 2025 bingo card

I am begging the general public to not come to the ER unless you are REALLY needing to be here. This flu season is turning into a BRUTAL shitshow and we need all the space we can get for the VERY sick/dying. If you absolutely MUST come & you’re not that sick, be ready to wait.