If a firefight kicks off in California, Texas has your back. Fuck the federal government. Fuck the Big Bullshit Bill, Fuck the White Binders. No Epstein List, No Peace. This is the only chance we've got, folks. We can start deporting people again _after_ taking back DC.

Working on a farm is hard labor. Everything I touch is heavy. Including my wife.

I don't know why it's racist to say black people like fried chicken and watermelon. Literally everybody likes fried chicken and watermelon. Shit's delicious.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez youtube.com/watch?v=s8hEtI…

I do 50 to 60 job interviews in here everyday I never hire anyone But about half the applicants buy a drink from the vending machine after I subtly encourage them to I make $300 a day in passive income with this method

Today I broke the maple syrup bottle I bought last week after the last maple syrup bottle got moldy. If this is karma for the things I said about Canada, I was mostly kidding.

Captain Morgan Coconut Rum tastes like the islands. And I'm an island boy.

Because if I spend 16 hours a day in the gym, the hay won't get bailed, the trees won't get trimmed, the gutters won't get cleaned, the fence won't get painted, and the deer won't get fed. As a man, why you invest this much of your day into having curvy muscles?

If you can't pay your hooker hush money through a PAC, you certainly can't pay for a hotel in Chicago (for state legislators). They do not campaign in Chicago. At all. Ever.

- A LAWYER (Dem.) WHO LIED UNDER OATH ABOUT AN AFFAIR IN THE OVAL OFFICE received a punishment of "that's not the sorta behavior we expect from a lawyer. Give us your bar card." - A CEO (Rep.) WHO SIGNED THE CHECKS HIS LAWYER PUT ON HIS DESK was convicted of 34 felonies.

Pro tip: want a short-barrel shotgun, but don't want to become a target of the gay fascists at the ATF? Reload 3D printed bullets for your .45. They're basically birdshot by the time they leave the muzzle. This has been a public service announcement from a guy with a 3d printer

I don't believe Mrs. Macron is a man, but I'm also not going to argue with Candace Owens about it, because that would be defending a pedophile, and I don't do that either.

Welp, we all got played. Jussie Smolette is innocent, the Chicago police cooked the evidence. They had a victim and needed a perp. They couldn't find one. So they created one, neatly, in 3 week.

🏳️‍🌈🦅🏳️‍🌈 Carbonari Buddy Neil Stone Modern progressives: "I BELIEVE EVERY WOMAN HAS THE RIGHT TO CHOOSE WHETHER OR NOT SHE GIVES BIRTH TO A BLACK CHILD." Also modern progressives: "TRUMP IS A NAZI"

EckhartsLadder Tres Leches Venezuelan Gangster ginblossom David Pakman It's a very incongruent political stance to be like "I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS FASCIST JUST GAVE A BUNCH OF TAX CUTS TO BILLIONAIRES." Like, that's good. Any tax cut is good when the person spending the money is a fascist. Right?

I have to say I have "5 advanced degrees" because the urban youth like this always say "I HAVE THREE DEGREES" but they're counting their elementary school diploma, their middle school diploma, and their GED.