Just read this as "Three households will be allowed to gather in Christmas baubles"

Hi Boris Johnson. You turned the oven on, but forgot to set the temperature. Shall we get a takeaway instead?

Dream time instagram.com/p/CJDae97nWH9/…

Just posted a photo instagram.com/p/CJHQXvHnK3c/…

Thinking of rebranding myself as a comedian, in case that would make my anecdotes seem more believable.

Thanks for the inspiration @sian8baker - we're all living our best lives digitally right now, even Mumm-Ra.the.cat. instagram.com/p/CJtT9fMHftr/…

The seminal rock band MUSH have reformed to play a series of intimate UK dates. On sale tomorrow at 10:00.

Approve your cat’s vacation request. I know a hostile workplace when I see it.

I've just written an article about why you need a website. Totally biased of course, since I make websites. medium.com/@rileyramone/w…

One of those days when you try in vain to clean your glasses, only to realise it was your eyeballs that needed cleaning.

Two shiny rock n roll library gems announced and on sale for Independent Venue Week 2022 @IVW_UK today. Bess Atwell * Lancaster Library The Goon Sax * Coventry Central Library On sale 10am

Bad weather day for bins.

London Community Gospel Choir (@LCGCtweets) are playing a one-off show in Fellowship Square, Waltham Forest on Sunday 7th August. Bringing their world-renowned act to their local community, this is an unmissable open-air treat for the whole family. ticketlab.co.uk/series/id/492#/

Crappé diem.

For fun and as an experiment, I set up my own #Mastodon instance ding.so. You can find me over there @[email protected] Mastodon (@[email protected])

I wonder who would be interested in buying the domain meatlover.com Pizza Hut Domino's Pizza Meat & Livestock Australia Porter Road Butcher ButcherBox Crowd Cow @holygrailsteak @mortons Moink Omaha Steaks Marx Foods Let me know. We are selling it.

theguardian.com/music/article/…