Monster jam made the 5 year old in my heart so happy

A new little lady has arrived 🦓🤎 The San Diego Zoo wildlife care team welcomed a spunky new okapi calf on September 2nd. Born to mom Subira and first-time dad Kapu, this precious gal is the first okapi born at the Zoo since 2021, and the first calf to be born right on habitat.

“What are you doing for 9/11?” “What a thing to ask.”

Just watched the video of Charlie Kirk getting shot and man- great timing on the shooters behalf. He’s being so smug and arrogant about mass shootings- you get what you deserve, dawg. May you burn in the pits of hell for the rest of eternity.

Eat the words you stand by.

If you walk into a bar and order a Charlie Kirk, that means I take a shot and you stand 200m away.

Ring ring ring ring ring ring- the nimbus phone 📞 ☁️

Still one of most effective PSAs I've watched. Centers an issue without coming off as preachy and showcases the real world side effects of this disease. It's heartbreaking, but it's extremely viable. The use of the Disney-like fairytale ending in reality is a chef's kiss.

Last week we had a grown ass man (50’s) tell another grown ass man (also 50’s) that he was “fat, retarded, and nobody likes you” and I am RIDING on that high.

this is how I picture myself when I'm liking y'all's posts

Guys I’m crying because I’ve just seen these photos from the Good Boy premiere

Liking The Thing as a dog is a good bit

me when a 25 year old talks to me

Old people talking on speaker phones in places you’re supposed to be quiet is the same energy as children watching tiktoks on full blast.

Disability aids that most people don’t think about: Stair railings Chairs and stools Automatic can opener Glasses Voice activated things like Alexa and Siri Grabber tools Navigation like Google Maps Pop Sockets for phones Plastic straws Not every aid is a wheelchair

“The economy is actually doing great”

Freedom’s little sister is doing police academy and she just asked if she could put me as a reference (so honored 😭) but I just responded like

Somebody got a bath and now smells ✨DELIGHTFUL✨

Just called one of my cool unfrequent regulars the wrong name with confidence as he was leaving. Fuuuuuuck me.