Hey Uber how do I get you to update your GPS routing software database? Pick-ups to my home address consistently route drivers through a gate that's closed, often causing them to abandon. Have sent dozens of messages to Uber Support and via the app to no avail

“Cancel culture” has just taken on a whole new meaning.

Trumpism is whining about reaping social consequences of antisocial behavior.

The Republican Party doesn’t seem to have any platform beyond opposing The Democratic Party. They might consider renaming themselves “The Undemocratic Party”.

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If I think of a great tweet, I'll post it

Prostitutes are buy-sexual

If you ever have problems sleeping, try thinking of something boring, like this Tweet.

Hey guys, I invented Daylight Savings Time! I took DST out of its original box and put it into a pencil case!!

My Starbucks name is "Warren Christmas".

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is logically equivalent to "What doesn't make you stronger kills you".

You guys hear? The clock kid invented the civil lawsuit! #IStandWithoutAhmed

Let's see, I could painstakingly craft a concise, original thought... or I could retweet someone else's vapid pap... decisions, decisions...

If you're not part of the final solution, you're part of the final problem.

Who's going to ask questions for Clarence Thomas now??

If Craig Wright is Satoshi, he's done a great job convincing everyone (including me) that he's not.

Donald Trump's claims that Hillary Clinton is a "world-class liar" should be taken seriously, as he's a bit of an expert on bullshit.

You guys hear? Trump supports the US exiting the EU!

To be fair to Trump, his comments are ten years old. Who among us didn't say embarrassingly foolish things when we were 60?

I've been experimenting with the lightning network, and I gotta say, it's off the chain!