i thought every adult ever was lying but you really do wake up with back pain the day you turn 30

calling out at 4:44 everytime so my shift manager thinks it’s meant to be

Me to the stranger next to me at the jazz club: These guys are so horny Them back to me: that’s kind of funny, but shut up

did adults at the time actually like Randy Newmans music? bc I feel like he was just banking on kids having to fk w/ it for life solely on the basis of nostalgia

‘sinking’

me when there’s no cheese on the charcuterie board. I arrived hours late

copy me? good luck

I’m your fattest fan

“gRoK iZ tHiS TrUE” 🤤

by royal decree I need some nachos

this gave me a nostalgia smile, which is the best kind. Me and my friends used to tech deck all over so much one of us got suspended.

you know when someone plays a song and now you can’t trust their music taste ever again. I get the same feeling of eternal mistrust when someone serves a quesadilla with only cheddar cheese

in me there are two wolves. get them out of me now. it hurts. the human body was not meant to harbor two full grown wolves. ouchie

grapes, underrated or over rated?

drank an entire 24 pack of cherry cola yesterday no ragrets

I’ve gotten very old in the last 4 months

Why has no one started bundling nfts like CDO’s? ps. can you tell I watched the big short one time

GM☀️ I just finished 100 pieces for my upcoming PFP collection, all made 1/1 and took me a month to complete ☺️ I’m so happy! Where will I be minting them? 🤫 I’ll let you know soon!