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We are so back

There's a concerning amount of dead skin sloughing off my penis

The Lion doesn’t concern himself with wiping

I can't wait to wake up to 10000 notifications from 10000 stupid fucking fucks

I love it when you call me Big Poopa

A disease that slowly turns you British

If George Floyd was alive today he wouldn't be dead

Throw your hands in the air 🙌🏻 if you're shaped like a pear 🍐

You can checkout anytime you like 🤗 but you can never leave 🤪 muahahahhaha 😈

Indian Spider-Man shoots poop out of his wrists

Hiring a hooker and asking to see her hooks

I will be reading my tweets out loud in The Hammerstein Ballroom in a 3-day event starting June 20th. Tickets are on sale now.

I was dropped on my penis as a baby and that's why I have a chode

I gave a werewolf a Coors Light and he fuckin exploded

Wow!

my buddy's silhouette is unique and recognizable from all distances

Hitting golf balls with an aluminum bat at my neighbor's kids

A fart so powerful that it alters the Earth's orbit causing us to crash into The Sun

Supergluing my wife's boobs to the ceiling