Good luck to whosever job it is to rescue Santa this year.

Merry Christmas everyone! I know the holidays look a lot different than the traditions that many of us are used to, but I hope today is filled with love and laughter for all of you.

Do you give your pets Christmas presents?

Sometimes I wonder if I have imposter syndrome or am I just pretending to.

I haven’t been hungry since Thanksgiving. I should probably just skip eating till like Valentines or something. I won’t, but I should.

Fair warning: Whenever I’m looking for a name for a new character I just scroll through my followers list until I see one that fits. So some of you may be in one of my stories. I’ll do my best to make you witty and heroic.

How can carbs be bad for us if they are what brought us our best friends? Donuts and dogs have made our lives better! #science npr.org/sections/thesa…

People that jog outside with headphones in both ears must have no mortal enemies.

Can we all agree that those people that are like “let’s not exchange presents” and then get you something thoughtful and say “oh it’s nothing really I just thought you would like it” but you didn’t get them anything because they said you weren’t doing presents - are the worst?

If you forget what you were saying halfway through your story and no is able to remind you ... take the hint.

Most things I do could be described as “nonchalant” which is odd since on the inside I’m very chalant.

I laughed at my dog for being so sad when I wouldn’t let him bring in a stick, it’s absurd to bond so quickly with an inanimate object. But then I realized I named my Roomba “Rosie” from the Jetsons and I apologize when I get in her way.

Catching up on old episodes of Critical Role podcast. Just listened to the last episode of 2019. Everyone sounded so optimistic about 2020. I just wanted to scream a warning to those poor, naive fools who had no idea what was coming.

How do you deal with those days that you’re overwhelmed with the idea that no one will ever actually read the stuff you put all that time and energy into? #WritingCommunity

It seems like a lot of people relate to this. Maybe I should write a boo about it. If nothing else I’d enjoy the irony.

That large breeze you just felt was roughly 53% of America sighing in relief.

I posted a new short story on my website. It’s a bit out of my usual wheelhouse and I’d love to hear your thoughts on it. #WritingCommunity #readingcommunity areallifegriffin.wordpress.com/the-death-dirt/

Sometimes when I’m bored I change the wake up word on Alexa so I can sit back and watch my kids scream at a computer.

The New Coffee Pot Paradox: You can’t get caffeine until you get the machine to make coffee, but your brain can’t figure out how to make the new machine work until it’s had caffeine.

In a world of affliction Vices of pleasure, drink, and dope But my favorite addiction Is the weak one turned hero #trope #vss365