Got a vacancy now going on two months - just lowered the rent by $150.

Mine also- spread kindness in his honor

Help me sort this out. Your established barber charges $30. You always pay $40 cash - including a $10 tip which you found to be generous. You show up and the cuts are now $33. What’s your move?

When a tradesman gets the wife’s ear at a job: “There’s basically 1,000 ways this will kill you unless we fix it immediately”

As a landlord you reserve the right to shop around and find a good deal, but you must be willing to use the expensive emergency service when that is what you need to resolve an issue. Your tenant’s health and wellbeing are your responsibility

My wife’s personal checking account is her money and our joint checking account is her money.

Every single boomer you know would give up their entire wealth and trade places with you. They’d love to be in their 20s and broke one more time.

People with $0 feel like they need $100 People with $100 feel like they need $1K People with $1K feel like they need $10K People with $10K feel like they need $100K People with $100K feel like they need $1M People with $1M feel like they need $10M Etc etc etc

1.5 years of doing these kind of numbers 💪

I have survived an entire summer owning exactly one pair of shorts. 🩳

I think decisiveness is one of the most important leadership skills

It’s true ✅

When you learn to turn your Latina mom’s guilt against her: You: Hey mama, can you bring me some guavas? Her: Que?! I cleaned 6 houses today and I’m going to church to pray for you. You: Okay, no worries. If I die don’t bring any to my grave, it’ll be too late then. Her:

Tried this and the opposite happened. What am I missing?

Found this cute pup roaming my street today. People should really be more careful with their pets 🐺

I want you guys to know that I dropped my phone in a fire 🔥 and it is still here. Kudos, Apple 🍎

Me: Doc, I have issues, my farts don’t stink! Dr: Okay, let’s see it Me: *Rip a big one* Dr: Yeah, you need surgery… Me: On my butt? Dr: On your nose, you bastard!

A great wife sticks by your side during the bad times and reminds you that none of this would have happened if only you had listened to her

Test

You’re trying to be fitness so you order a kiddie size ice cream and mistakenly get handed three scoops. What’s your move? 🍨