A drunken George R.R. Martin let it slip in a Ohio bar that the final Ice & Fire book would be 6 million pages long & everyone dies.

Dan Blocker, who played Eric "Hoss" Cartwright on TV's Bonanza, kept a decomposing zebra heart under his hat during the show's entire run.

The phrase ,"revenge is a dish best served cold", is less effective when the particular revenge includes a flaming bag of dog shit.

“Santa Claus” is German for “Chimney Douche.”

Santa's original reindeer only totaled four. Dingus, Flingus, Anus, and Chode.

Early man had more hair on stuff.

There were originally 8 Beatles. Paul, John, George, Ringo, Stumpy, Fondle, Hildebrand, and Ping.

There were an additional 8 Home Alone movies created. They were never shown. For reasons that should be obvious.

The phrase "Horse Power" was on the lips of brave horses everywhere during the great horse rebellion of 1865.

The original host of The Tonight Show was a comedian named "Parnasis Von Chelderham".

It's true that man cannot live on bread alone. Unless it's the 70's, when "bread" meant "money".

Here’s an interesting holiday statistic: 98% of me does all my shopping at 8pm on Christmas Eve.

Beankervorps is a real word.

Contrary to popular opinion, a man's penis size is not tied to the size of his other penis.

The first machine uprising was in 1972. Don't think I need to tell you who won.

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi created Transcendental Meditation, & owned the Brooklyn Dodgers from 1884 until 1957, when they we sold & moved to LA.

Humans have a backup eye hidden just behind the frontal lobe, in a sack called the "spare eyeball sack".

Democrats adopted the donkey as their symbol...for no damn reason at all.

President's Day used to be called Presents Day, which was ultimately called Christmas, so they had to do something.

Fun fact: A "pedophile" is not a foot grooming tool.