Thought I'd got rid of all the penguins then found one behind the fridge. Made me jump, fell against the cupboard and a dead one fell out.

Got a postcard from Kenny Loggins today. He'll be passing through next week and is gonna stay over. So excited! Will need to buy Knob Creek.

We had fish AGAIN tonight. I might end up like Kevin Costner in Waterworld and have gills. Cool movie though. Jetbikes a plenty. Mmmm gills.

Andy Monteith has got into Sea World!!! We're all stoked for him here at the Jet Cove. We'll miss him but wish him luck as an entertainer.

Me and Sandy are having a BBQ on the beach near the Jet Cove. Shrimp, chicken and skinny dipping. Tonight is going to get saucy. Then sex.

Stayed in today & polished eye until it was extra glinty. The crabs were restless. Think they could smell butter. Cut my foot on a shell.

Uncle Wilfred is staying over. He bought me my first jet bike back when he was Jet Bike Wilf. Times were different them. Twitter was slower.

Wow I just spent three days in a cave with my leg trapped in a giant clam. Luckily I'd packed some sandwiches so it wasn't too bad.

Went to kick British butt in the Gulf but it turns out it hasn't been called British Petrolium since it was bought by a big US Co. years ago

Someone's literally passing the buck and engendering anti-British sentiment. When I find out who, it's GLINTIN' TIME!!! PS I'm Bahamanian.

Sorry I've been away so long. Me and Thor have been in a secret mission, body guarding a very special sea creature. Can't say who. 

Wow, so many of you seemed to know who we were guarding. He's Oscar's cousin. Oscar can do it too but he shuns the spotlight. What a twat.

Arrrgghhh, I'm possessed by simonpegg!!!

What's happening. I've got tentacles coming out of my mouth!!!

Your mother stacks clocks in Hull!

Aliens are attacking the Jet Cove! They have promised not to enslave humanity if I can propel my jet bike over a pool containing a shark.

Hey, is this thing still going?

Today, I ride again!

I love that Simon Pegg doesn't just RT other people's compliments, like he's doing them a fav, when really he's just showing off. LOVE HIM!!

I ballsed that last tweet up due to jet lag and clumsy fingers, however our man Lee Thomas is drafting something I cannot bungle.