It was absolutely pissing down a few days ago, and I saw someone walking in the rain with a KFC bucket on their head. I've only just remembered it, and I can't stop laughing about it.

I knew that there was definitely a reason I stopped buying knock-off earpods. I just keep ending up with electric cock-rings! All ear vibrations sound the same to me 🤔

Can I borrow your data on this?

A B S O L U T E U N I T ☢︎

A grandmother suddenly turns into an apple. Nobody notices.

The long awaited Status Desktop is back as the beta v0.1.0 release! Private messaging with Status is now available on Windows, Mac, and Linux, with seamless syncing to your mobile device. Try it out now our.status.im/re-introducing…

I drink ALOT of water through the day. If I haven't eaten anything, and my stomach gets abit sloshy, I can hear my heartbeat loudly amplified by my stomach 👀

When I think about it; Beanies Babies launched with one of the first & smartest viral marketing policies: "They're gonna be worth thousands in 5 - 10 years" In reality, they're worth the same I paid for all of mine from Rufforth Market in 2001 – £2.99

youtube.com/watch?v=dExdFL…

Why was it all strapped down — like it's going to escape and start killing everyone like the Mummy film!?

I love how YouTube suggests me two awful of those shit sisters; And then Richard Hell — who's one of my ABSOLUTE FAVS

H ✪ L Y S H I T 12 years ago – our 2nd ever Leeds fest ♼

"I feel the NEED for SPEED!" "Yes, well I have the Nafety for Safety."

THE BUTTERFLY WHO MAKES HURRICANES

Don't lie to yourself; remember how fucking good this song is!? youtube.com/watch?v=6NUxMg…