he told me he likes it rough so i crumbled a nature valley bar in the bed

September 29th come out and see me and an awesome lineup of comedians!

🎲 ROLL FOR HILARITY! Stand-up comedy crosses swords with Dungeons & Dragons and myth meets mirth September 21 at Stand Up Live. Join an amusing adventuring party of intrepid comedians as they explore a realm both fanciful and funny. Tix and info--> bit.ly/SUL_Roll

Calling All Goblins, Ghouls, and Geeks! We've got the Halloween Treats to Satisfy any Witch, Warlock, or Whomstsoever! Stand-up comedy crosses swords with Dungeons & Dragons this Halloween! Don’t miss the Catacombs & Comedians Sidesplitting Spooktacular! huntsville.standuplive.com/shows/189329

Aaron Carter is dead at 34. tmz.com/2022/11/05/aar…

Started my period last night and bled through the basement. Now I need a new house.

I don’t understand people who’ve had bad relationships with denim.

I’ll bring you snacks and eat your ass while you’re elbow deep in a bag of chips because I’m cute like that.

Huntsville invades Birmingham! Best of Huntsville show at StarDome Comedy Club! March 23rd!! Scott Eason rayna_cheyenne_cahill & SHULI are coming with me to peacock for HSV! 🦚

You don’t understand- I need to get my nails done so I can give my dogs the ear scratches they deserve.

…and that’s what happens when you listen to too much dubstep.

FACT ABOUT MEN No.243: Every time a car passes them on the interstate, their penis loses half an inch.

Comedy, the cretaceous period, and clitoral stimulation.

#NewProfilePic

2024 is going to be the year of self improvement for so many people. I’m so excited to watch us grow 🌱🪴🌳

Ouch!

Steampunk looks like it was invented by someone raised by their grandparents.