The Family Jewels bring a burst of retro-bright energy to modern pop/rock, blending 1960s nostalgia with sharp humor, catchy hooks, and harmonies that shimmer like sunshine on vinyl. Their debut album, “Abbey Lane,” leans fully into the band’s playful spirit.

"Abbey Lane," the debut album of The Family Jewels, is now available on iTunes & Spotify! iTunes: itunes.apple.com/album/id187886… Spotify: open.spotify.com/album/36b7fIMg… #DeanSays #TheFamilyJewels #AbbeyLane #NewMusic #DebutAlbum

And even bird poop in 4K Technicolor is still bird poop. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Parody #SingingForYourMealsIsForTheBirds Love Fun & Funny Stories? Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: amzn.to/3JMHlYl Free Kindle Reading App: amzn.to/4nJyjJw 😎🖖❤️

Definitely not the best time to be a monkey’s uncle. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Parody #Zombies #TheMonkees #HitSongs Love Fun & Funny Music? Enjoy the debut album of The Family Jewels: “Abbey Lane” now on iTunes: itunes.apple.com/album/id187886… Spotify: open.spotify.com/album/36b7fIMg… 😎🖖❤️

Severe cold can make people do the craziest things. Which is why elections should be held in the summer. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Parody #Satire #NoOffenseIsIntendedAgainstScience Love Fun & Funny Stories? Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: amzn.to/3JMHlYl 😎🖖❤️

Probably references a band from before your time, but I’m a big fan! #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Parody #Monks #Monkees #LongLiveMickey #HeyHeyHeyWereTheMonkees Love Fun & Funny Stories? Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: amzn.to/3JMHlYl 😎🖖❤️

Oh, how I miss her. She always laughed at my jokes. And in all the right places, too. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Running #Motivation Love Edgy & Darkly Humorous Songs? Enjoy the debut album of The Phony Realists, "The Wrong End of the Rainbow”: itunes.apple.com/album/id187837… 😎🖖❤️

But I do know she likes hot yoga, vanilla chai tea, & Twisted Tales from The Other Side. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #DiamondDean #ThatAwkwardMoment #Comedy #WeatherGirls #MeteorologistsGoneWild Enjoy Diamond💎Dean’s Twisted Tales From The Other Side: amzn.to/42pgRl4 😎🖖❤️

I created a new single for The Family Jewels “Import” A witty, heartfelt modern romance about finding love in a globalized world where even the heart can get tangled in tariffs. Listen now at YouTube Music: music.youtube.com/watch?v=22zV23… #NewMusic #ModernLove #Tariffs #allingoodfun

Eat a bowl of beans, and soon you’ll be tootin’ “Take Me To The River.” #DeanSays #DeanMemes #DiamondDean #Comedy #ThatAwkwardMoment #AquariousMeals #HungryArtist #SingingBass #TakeMeToTheRiver Love Fun & Funny Stories? Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: amzn.to/3JMHlYl 😎🖖❤️

Because everyone knows: You can’t teach a dead rabbit new tricks. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #SadReality #LostTheMagic #TheRabbitDied #NewTricks Love Fun & Funny Stories? Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: amzn.to/3JMHlYl Free Kindle Reading App: amzn.to/4nJyjJw 😎🖖❤️

The Zombie Stones making being undead look and sound good. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Parody #Zombies #TheRollingStones #HitSongs Love Edgy Songs with a Dark Sense of Humor? Enjoy The Phony Realists: “The Wrong End of the Rainbow” now on iTunes: itunes.apple.com/album/id187837… 😎🖖❤️

And yes, he still missed! #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #FloridaMan #Methematics #MethProfessor #MethProblems #WallShootersAreTheWorst Love Fun & Funny Stories? EnjoyDiamond💎Dean Books: amzn.to/3JMHlYl Free Kindle Reading App: amzn.to/4nJyjJw 😎🖖❤️

No wonder she looked so picture-perfect! Your friends reassure you that at least you’re not crazy, but you’re not sure if that’s even true anymore. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #DiamondDean #Comedy #ThatAwkwardMoment #MonaLisa Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: amzn.to/3JMHlYl 😎🖖❤️

I know they’re a fine, charitable organization. I just don’t look my best in antlers. Nothing personal. It’s just a fashion choice. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #DiamondDean #Comedy #ThatAwkwardMoment #Silly #Satire #ElksClub Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: amzn.to/3JMHlYl 😎🖖❤️

My best guess? He doesn’t have to, because the Vatican has top-notch plumbing. #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Silly #RespectfulSatire #DoesABearSitInTheWoods #Pope #Vatican Love Fun & Funny Stories? Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: amzn.to/3JMHlYl 😎🖖❤️

Okay, okay, okay, let’s blame pollution. Everyone loves hating on that. And for good reason. Look at what it created! #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Silly #Satire #SharkGatorHybrid #SciFiInsanity Love Fun & Funny Stories? Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: amzn.to/3JMHlYl 😎🖖❤️

Terminator? I thought the T stood for Tremendous! #DeanSays #DeanMemes #DiamondDean #Comedy #ThatAwkwardMoment #Parody #ModelT #FleeingForMyLife Love Fun & Funny Stories? Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: amzn.to/3JMHlYl Free Kindle Reading App: amzn.to/4nJyjJw 😎🖖❤️

Typical, All-American Zombies A-Go-Go! #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Parody #Zombies #Grease #HitSongs Love Edgy Songs which have a Dark Sense of Humor? Enjoy the debut album of The Phony Realists: “The Wrong End of the Rainbow” now on iTunes: itunes.apple.com/album/id187837… 😎🖖❤️

Especially giant ones with more than eight legs! #DeanSays #DeanMemes #Comedy #Facts #BothThingsCanBeTrue #SpiderMan #Spiders Love Fun & Funny Stories? Enjoy Diamond💎Dean Books: amzn.to/3JMHlYl Free Kindle Reading App: amzn.to/4nJyjJw 😎🖖❤️