telling the construction workers next door to keep it down because they woke up my dog.

I’m sort of like a deadbeat mother to my roommates and I think that’s beautiful.

made the pour over too strong so I decided to follow that up with cold brew. double down don’t back down.

can anyone get me on raya? I’d like to annoy men in a higher tax bracket.

things my dog and I have in common: - clumsy - crooked noses - late sleepers - easily spooked - prefers to be the little spoon - autumn color palette

I can’t stop scrunching my crew socks.

bumper sticker that says “I love my nightlight.”

everyone say happy birthday grandma or else

grandma was tickled by the birthday wishes. thank you everyone. 😊

this day always activates my Floridian genes.

taking zinc on an empty stomach just to feel something.

one tequila seltzer and a bar song (tipsy) has hit my airpods.

got put on steak cutting duty and asked anyone who walked by if they knew about Alton Brown explaining how to to cut meat against the grain using garden hoses.

I was hungover all day yesterday but I slept for 14 hours so I’m back. what did I miss haha

just had a divine vision of jeremy fragrance and woah vicky getting married.

definitely the the meaning of life or what happens after we die.