Nose surgeon, get it...

At first I was like, with VR I suppose a novelist could do.... Oh... You mean s/he fucked a book don't you... hope it wasn't an audio book..

A Chrome extension that automatically replaces "Elon Musk" with "Colon Pus"

This one goes out to the world's most online guy Elon Musk youtu.be/koyW2p2vksY

1. Stop reading French existentialist philosophy. 2. See above.

Gary Fleming AKA The Penis Whisperer.

Wanna feel old? This is what Harry Potter looks like now.

At Woolworths we're paranoid as fuck about you stealing food and us not profiting so we're going to track every movement you make.

Lost count of the number of times I've had this realisation waking up on a floor

So is the blue check fiasco being called "Elongate" yet?

Buy better shoes?

My autobiography.

The root of all the troubles.

They've all been lobotomised?

To illustrate the opening of a wine venue is a picture of Perth's absolute pinnacle of fuckheadedness waving a beer around

Way to go Economist, just easing us into it, getting comfortable with the idea that we're all doomed.

Sorry matey changing your name to Elon Muskspeare. Instant tooter ban

Which is a good thing because *stage whisper* he has a serial killer vibe.

A pair worn by Bill Gates from the same era sold for half the price, but it would take twice as long to put them on. They were much slower to boot up.

I wonder what my last tweet will be.