i would pay so much money to never hear about AI or weight loss drugs ever again

Note to future self: Iran didn’t say they are going to attack California. The FBI did.

So basically we started a war with a country that can single-handedly fuck the entire world’s oil supply any time they want because of geography and we had no plan for if that happened? Is this correct?

Don’t you find it interesting that Charlie Kirk was assassinated after saying the Epstein files should be released and now his not so grieving widow gets rewarded with a job working for Trump? And why haven’t we heard anything more about the young man accused of killing Charlie?

There’s a 50/50 chance Trump would support this idea

Hear me out …

Marie Antoinette (2006) on a laptop in bed is what separates us from the animals

loving what’s going on over at cosmopolitan rn

as long as you don't need gas or groceries things ain't so bad

"If hard work led to success, the donkey would own the farm"

Women will literally say 'idk maybe I'm just crazy' right before accurately predicting a sequence of events with 100% psychic precision.

You know gas prices are ridiculous when the guy in the lifted truck isn’t revving his engine at Walmart during mating season.

dudes never met a woman in his life

Ariel's first mistake was wanting to be where the people are

Shut it all down

“She came after”

The global economy right now

If your friends aren't talking about: • Ice cream • Where to get ice cream • When we are getting ice cream • Soft serve vs. hard-scoop It's time to find new friends.

they’re doing it for me please don’t question it

martinis and fries. some sort of aioli. a sudden will to live.