Omg I can't breathe

I mean we all know that sex sells, but this is a bit on the nose

Stupid Sat Nav

Wordle 454 X/6 ⬛🟩⬛⬛🟨 ⬛🟩⬛🟩🟩 ⬛🟩⬛🟩🟩 ⬛🟩⬛🟩🟩 ⬛🟩⬛🟩🟩 ⬛🟩⬛🟩🟩 Ok just going to go outside and destroy planet earth

Just heard on the news that the British have now created a queue that is visible from space. #peakbritain

Wordle American spelling nightmare. Saturday ruined.

Autumn budget statement eve! Don’t forget to leave a glass of ditch water and a dead bat on the hearth for Jeremy Hunt to dissolve and ingest after he slithers down the chimney.

Ordinarily I like to support local business, so when the trades flyer comes through the door I always have a look through. On reflection I’ll pass this time round.

Taking bets on how long it will be before GB News offers Tucker Carlson a job

Best way to beat a vampire

I reckon that Hotblack Desiatio and Disaster Area’s audience were actually closer to the band than most of Elton’s Glastonbury crowd

Special space operation to denazify the moon bbc.co.uk/news/world-eur…

Have I got this right, is it tonight at 10pm we all go outside and clap for Gillian Keegan? #clapforgillian

I’m assuming that the cost information under the retail price is per sheet?

Day 437. And it is still January.

Dishwasher is now broken. The only viable solution I can see for the future is to eat directly from takeaway containers with a disposable spork.

Fabrizio Romano #Southgate : "Listen sunshine - I'm playing all the RIGHT players... just not necessarily in the right positions"

"I've just injected steroids into my arm" "Anabolic?" "No, just my arm"