cab i go to the bathroom

Was in a kind of half dreaming half awake state this morning thinking about Garfield comics for some reason and I convinced myself that Odie the dog was named "Mike Odie"

It's a "new years delight" !

"I'm the guy that builds the boat, I'm the guy that sails it" #Newfoundland

Chips are probably the invention with the widest range of manufacturing complexity. I could easily make a potato chip right now. A five year-old could probably make a woodchip (with some risk of injury). But a computer chip? You gotta be a genius

Just noticed something huge. So China is ruled by an organization called the CCP, right? Sound familiar? It's awfully close to "CCCP", aka the USSR, aka COMMUNISM. That's right, the CCP is nothing more than a Chinese communist party.

Friend looking up from phone: Oh apparently there was a carjacking case last weekend. Guy's gonna get 12 years, yeesh Me (completely the wrong idea about what "carjacking" means, sweating bullets): t-that's illegal????

My octor iagnosed me with a "Vitamin D efficiency" — sounds like a good thing?

political correctness just isn't the same these days. it's gone woke.

It's really piling up out there

I had a Windows Me computer in my bedroom as a kid and I would always turn the monitor off first before shutting it down bc this message would scare me so bad I couldn't sleep

It all comes down to the almighty Canadian dollar.

Poopoo has won Best Peepee at the Toilet Awards

I've had an infestation of Devils for weeks and the landlord (surprise surprise) won't do shit 😮‍💨

(imagine I'm a fish when I say this) Bait used to be believable...

Pool is one of my favourite games bc I'm not very good at it but it seems like every time I play against someone who actually knows how I accidentally win on some weird technicality I don't understand

If someone you knew had one of the following what would impress you the most

SIGNAL BOOST

when u make pancakes u can mix in a little cornmeal with the flour, like a 2:1 ratio, and it adds a kind of satisfying texture but that's just my opinion

i pope now?