This was the very first thing I read this morning on waking up and several times during the day I've been thinking "did I have a dream about Biden's cancerous prostate last night?"

the attitude of someone who has benefited from a national food safety program so robust that food-borne illnesses basically have the same kill rate as lightning strikes

Pretty Hate Machine gets a lot funnier when you know that Reznor was able to record it because he was employed cleaning the studio at night, which means all of the women he's singing about were throwing it back for a janitor.

The "absurdist good or service sold via telephone pole flyer" posts are the last vestiges of millennial humor that somehow survived, like hearing someone tell a polack joke

This is what Reconstruction should have looked like

👇Jeep Bike

We're entering a strange new world of suicide bombers radicalized by Reddit pedantry instead of extreme religious beliefs.

Damn, not even going to be able to enjoy his golden years of wandering around a Delaware mansion believing he's still president

Any of my fellow turbonormies out there hate getting oneshotted by nonbinary realness?

Bro is making biscuts

I'm a stay at home uncle

I saw this live and it was the first time I realized America was cooked

she gog on magog til i eschaton

Which way western man?