Something notable may be happening soon

Get Spiked protein right to your door right now dammit. Link in bio #100percentunnecessary

If anyone has a spare $1 to $2 million lying around, feel free to contact us.

We don’t condone this, but someone sent us this jungle juice recipe: ⁃Protochol ⁃Vodka ⁃C4 ⁃Everclear ⁃Gatorade

Still will never understand why it’s so difficult for some people to ascertain the difference between protein and caffeine.

Had a girl ask me if I workout or not. I vow to do everything in my power to never be asked that question again. - Mitch

YES Protochol Beverage

So unnecessary but also so fun

Apparently that surveillance balloon was just filled with zero protein alcoholic beverages. And the government couldn’t allow that in its airspace.

This week: Protochol takes the world by storm with its first ever Super Bowl commercial. It will be groundbreaking. #TikTok tiktok.com/t/ZTRGfmRsp/

What’re the betting odds of the winning coach getting Protochol dumped on them instead of Gatorade? #SuperBowl

If only Erie, PA had an NFL team. It is the Miami of the North after all. #SuperBowlLVII

These SB commercials are so low octane. Haven’t seen a single alcoholic beverage with any protein advertised. #SuperBowl

Screw painkillers, the Chiefs trainers absolutely need to force feed Protochol to Mahomes in the locker room to heal him. It’s their last resort. #SuperBowl

Sticks and stones may break my bones but protein and alcohol excite me. #HalftimeShow #Rihanna

Happy Valentine’s Day everyone. Now cancel your formal sit down dinner reservations and just drink spiked protein instead.

Is it true that all of these unidentified balloons are simply surveilling Jon Taffer to assess just how low octane he actually is?

Not sure why more people don’t see the Prince Harry and Carson Wentz similarities

Someone asking us if we wanted to get a “e-coffee” sometime, might be the most cringe thing I’ve ever heard. - Mitch

Thinking of dropping a killer new single named “Smells Like Protein Spirit.”