(walking through candy aisle) Hershing Kiss. Hersheys This lol. Milking Way Bar lol (suddenly getting really serious) Nerds Gummy Clusters

Elmer Fudd published a volume of incredibly beautiful poetry in the 1940s titled Forgetting Gethsemane but it was overshadowed by his acting work

Good morning Africa

This guy at the park was taking mad pictures of his dog

Something about peeling potatoes makes me feel like I’m on a great naval expedition. Not much else in life makes you feel like that

I’m not gonna watch that show Severance. I dont like media that is critical of the workplace

This is unbelievably cunning

Me: Its important to notice when a woman does something different with her hair (Room full of guys start taking notes)

Sorry but HR has pretty strict guidelines around aura farming in the office. Consider this a warning

Crackling with TGIF energy

KILLER MEG (Interdimensional entity..)

Writing and directing a movie for Tubi called The Last Hoe

there needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they're doing

A man has an insatiable urge to acquire more jackets

Red onions are worse than they used to be

just put the kiss on my cheek bro

People dont say “hey whats the big idea” anymore

Nice overcrowding in your backyard flower beds 👍 Blocked

My pussy big af. and its wildin out