If any women are curious how the male brain works I’m 22 and still think about when a girl asked me if I wanted to come over in grade 10 and I said “uhhh I don’t know”

I’d like to someday experience the elation of being a dad getting showered with compliments from his family after getting a new haircut

I don’t want to live on a planet where my tribal chief Roman Reigns isn’t the champion

One of these days I’ll learn my lesson and stop telling girls the bands I listen to

It’s actually comical how bad the Leafs powerplay is

Haven’t shaved since playoffs started for the Leafs and my friend just called me a jihadist

Summer penis is back.

Might as well call me Nick Saban with all the Offensive Lineman my Hinge profile recruits

Not sure anyone’s been in their bag quite like Aja era Steely Dan

Thinking about Toby Gerhart today.

Fuck yeah

My fatal flaw is conjuring up my worst possible memories at the bar and pulling the Alex Pereira stone face.

Pretty clearly a facemask you fucking retard

An absolute masterclass in incompetence by the Vikings tonight. Don’t even know why I support this team