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dang even the special effects needed to point out how badass he is how do I get on that level

I swear if age of ultron me makes us look like a pissy baby I'm going to travel to the future just to slap him

someone called the xmen to wait in line at best buy for them and I think they just faced their greatest foes yet: Black Friday shoppers

every day is Black Friday when you have questionable morals and kleptomania

do you know how hard it is to illegally download music when all you have are fucking cassette tapes and a walkman

sorry I forgot to wish you all a merry Christmas but I've been stealing Logan's beer and getting drunk so I don't have to think about finals

somebody convince Charles to have Annie as the school play cause his place is basically hell's orphanage anyways

Erik in the Pentagon: Good morning! The sun is shining, the tank is clean- tHE TANK IS CLEAN!!!!

this valentines day give your significant other a special kiss but also make sure to take their wallet while their eyes are closed

hi im auditioning for the role of charles xavier and I'll be singing "bulletproof"

hi im auditioning for the role of wolverine and ill be singing "forever young"

cyclops is such a goody two shoes like he doesn't have a moral compass he has a moral gps

hey avengers have fun fighting that huge army of METAL robots without my old man *puts hand on magnetos shoulder* *magneto swats hand away*

"bucky is a villain"

I can steal a lot of things but apparently not my father's love and attention

dude daredevil is so badass, I wanna be like Matt Murdock minus the blind

HERE, IT'S SCIENCE DOES EVERYONE UNDERSTAND NOW youtu.be/wEe9yKM0BAU

joss whedon really left Twitter bc I threatened to replace his entire fridge w/ vegemite after he made quicksilver look like a pansy in aou

hey everyone, unlike dicksilver in AoU I'm not dead, I'm just busy aging ten years cause Xmen: apocalypse is in the 80s

sometimes when Wanda gets on my nerves I call her the scarlet bitch