I’m watching an old Taskmaster and marvelling again that Tim Vine can be the brother of Jeremy Vine, a man with absolutely no self awareness or sense of humour. How much must Tim have ripped the piss out of him when they were kids?

The new Alan Partridge has its moments but he has still never been anything like as funny as he was on the radio version of Knowing Me Knowing You in the early 90s.

When the Conservatives made Boris Johnson leader they knew it would win them the election even though he wasn’t up to the job. I guess they didn’t realise he fell so far short that his premiership could destroy the party for good.

I see the Conservatives’ big new policy is abolishing stamp duty on main homes, which they could have done when in power, will drive an increase in house prices and be irrelevant to younger people who can’t afford a first property even if it didn’t.

Tbh he’d have trouble looking 3 days older than he was in the last one.

Does this mean magic mushroom season is officially here?

Reform is going to build multiple replicas of St Paul’s, reduce the number of people in London, create perfect weather, and ban cars and bikes in favour of monorails and flying buses with no destinations. (What are the roads for? Come to that what are the telephone boxes for?)

Rail replacement bus

TV switched on at BBC1. I may never have seen clothes as hideous as Alex Jones and the Kemp lad are wearing.

it’s a 2 minute radio program, never repeated, broadcast 18 times a week. Bigger audience than Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel, and Jimmy Fallon … combined. Millions listen, with no need for the information it gives. Just to listen. The BBC Shipping Forecast is 100 years old.

Is the weird scheduling of Traitors something they’ve always done? Two consecutive nights a week seems like the worst way to build then lose momentum.

saltproject.org/progressive-ch…

Every one of these is a horrific crime of course, but it does bring into question the blue-tickers who try to convince Twitter that it's impossible to set foot in London without being stabbed.

Odd to see a pair of swans courting and mating in mid October on my lunchtime walk.

I vaguely remember going to one once. I think it was in about 1985.

The One Show joining the trend for pronouncing ‘biopic’ with the stress on the second syllable rather than the first. Just stop it.

There may be no such thing as a welcome job loss, but some come close.

Wtf is that supposed to mean?

Match of the Day, if there are few matches on Sunday make the programme shorter or so more of the games that are on rather than extending the post-match analysis so it last as long as the match does. It takes ages to fast forward through.

First time I've seen any of these in the wild, or maybe the first time I've noticed then. But this is Witham, the town which elects Pritti Patel as MP.