When I was a kid I had a crush on Hermione Granger bc I thought she looked like my mom

My wife would never start an OnlyFans

Longest 12 hours of my life

I had a dream that I woke up and my acct was still locked and I started screaming, crying, hyperventilating and throwing up

My wife can stretch her labia up to 4 inches away from her body like elastigirl from the incredibles

does anyone else’s soap do this ? Idk what’s going on

I ate my boogers til I was 9 and I had a best friend who also did and we would show eachother our “good ones”

This is why he called it Microsoft and not Macrohard

Did we not all used to eat our boogers ? I thought this was a canon event

Did u eat ur boogers

Yes dick cheese is vegan as long as it’s consensual

Your body wash gave my wife bacterial vagininoiseisi Lush North America Send over 10 limited edition super milk perfumes and we can forget all about this

I just diarrhea shit so much and so hard and for so long that I felt my stomach flatten and the poop splashed up so high it touched my butthole again like the return of Jesus

Super fucking sick??? Hello????

I worked for a year and a half to achieve my new 1:12 PB in Majora’s mask, doing a live commentary of the run now! twitch.tv/popesquidward

When the Twitch stream text to speech turns into…… Ham Radio…..? twitch.tv/popesquidward/…

Bro just looked me straight in my eye and shit on my car, fuck you too buddy!!

Only this shit happens to me man I swear to god