going to a family wedding cant wait to drop the news to my redneck maga uncle that im a dyke after his ex-wife left him for another woman 🌈

nail salon tech asked if i bit my nails because theyre super short then said i look like one of the vampires from twilight so i tipped him $10

so my phone restarted and i lost all of my tabs and the amount of grief i endured ill never recover

AriZona is still 99 cents

what are the great joys in life if not being out until 4, getting brunch, taking a nap at someone elses house, having tapas, then all watching a movie

girl at this party just told me i have the physique for ultimate frisbee i can never go out in public ever again

Mexicos pride is fucking fantastic #Caitvi

my lesbian redbull collection because i am a lesbian and i love redbull

in light of recent events I'm giving myself an award

uber rating mysteriously went up after we spent the entire ride shitting on israel and then we discovered afterwards that the driver was fluent in arabic

Confirming. This is true

swift js

on some shit jehova hasn’t witnessed

“Determinate” by Lemonade Mouth (Bridgit Mendler, Hayley Kiyoko, Naomi Scott, Adam Hicks) has been certified Platinum in the US.

had to re-pierce a nip by threading the bar with a needle and bitch had me praying to every deity known to man

my boss determined that the guardian angel watching over my life is constantly stressed at the office just chain smoking malboros and hasnt gotten a day off in years

“why do you always go for women like 3 points lower than you” bruh do i take this as a compliment or an insult