"I think pizza has saved more marriages than any other food," Mayor Eric Adams says. "Sharing a pie with your boo? That’s the ultimate.”

potentially one of the funnier parts of this story. imagine getting caught being an ultra mega gooner because you talk like a huge weirdo

The day is still young there’s still time for at least one more Mark Robinson story I think they’re just getting warmed up

For mutuals! jackson

My life on easy street has been hell

Reminder to double check your food for this label and throw out anything that’s missing it

to prevent dental problems they should put a highly addictive substance in toothpaste so people spend 99% of the day brushing their teeth

New shirt that’s too small and is bumming me out, I would’ve loved to wear this shirt

BREAKING: Massive Israeli fire belts hit the village of Aanqoun in southern Lebanon.

Water fountains that shoot the same height regardless of how hard you press it were created to appease the unskilled and with it we lost a whole dimension of expression and creativity

Staircase that can hotswap my stair shoes for my flat ground shoes right as I step off so I don’t fling myself upward or vice versa

THE CEO OF MAZDA JUST SAID THE 2025 CX-5 IS GONNA BE THE BEST ALL AROUND VEHICLE ON THE MARKET AND EVERYONE IS ACTING LIKE THIS IS NORMAL

FROM THE FAR SIDE FILES Gary Larson 1980

Helicopter arrest footage of Eric Adams, back turned to feds, taking off his mayor sash, huge scissors dropped by his feet

Eric Adams was relying on free Turkish Airlines flights so much he tried to see if they had flights to *Easter Island*

Saw a guy on the tv that had the exact same shirt as me, nearly identical, same brand and style, logo was a different color but Im pretty sure the rest was basically the same

I think I could physically defeat any robot Im capable of making, even when Im old and frail my robots will still suck

Jesus fucking Christ. I have never seen anything like this in south Beirut, not since 2006. This is a carpet bombing of an area with hundreds of thousands of people.

There’s a massive tube network under the bank where coins and bills and jewelry are being transported around and shot out of a hose into some massive underground vault that was originally a cave