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#NEWNOT - 29” After viewing 200 action replays, the ref confirms the pen for Newcastle in todays handball lottery

#CRYAVL – 41’ VAR OVERTURN VAR recommended that Aston Villa’s goal was disallowed as we guessed that Watkins was in an offside position in the build-up

#TOTMCI – 90+4’ Today on handball lottery, Haaland scores but two Spurs players handle the ball in the area, so it’s a free kick to Spurs

#ARSCHE - 10” Today on handball lottery, the ball hits Cucurella’s arm in the area. VAR checks the incident and gives the pen to Liverpool. Oh wait it’s Arsenal, sorry no pen

#ARSCHE - 24” Fofana stamps on Rices arse. Had Fofana been called Jhon Duran we would have given him a red card and 3 match ban, but he isn’t so it’s okay. Play on!

#LIVEVE - 15” VAR checked the “foul” by Tarkowski on Mac Allister and as you can see he only slightly touched him. Play on!

#BHAAVL - 36” After reviewing the VAR we can see that Van Henke did not get the ball but instead tripped Ramsey in the penalty area, obstructing his way to the ball. No pen! x.com/compsbydz/stat…

#CHETOT - 25” The ref gives a free kick against himself after he brings down Bergvall. We thought he got the ball tbh

#EVEARS - 46” Everton Arsenal is a tough one for us because we like to bully both teams. So, we have decided to give Everton a weak pen, but we will also deduct them 15 points for existing, to even things up

🫡

#CRYNOT - 58” Both the keeper and the defender bring down Mitchell at the same time denying him a goalscoring opportunity. Penalty, but no red card though, because he’s not 40 yards out running away from goal

🤨

Clear and obvious!

#MUNAVL - 73” A beautifully timed whistle by the ref denies Villa a goal to fuck up their Champions League hopes. Nothing VAR could do about it as the whistle had gone.

Villa fans in our DMs, please, there will be no refunds of £100m for our incompetence

Now that the season has drawn to a close, we want to thank our followers and fans of all clubs who have had to put up with our horrific decisions. Any clubs that want to make a “donation” for next season, DM us and we’ll send our bank details PS. Everton are deducted 10 points

The GOAT having to explain his mistakes to everyone brings a tear to the eye.

Very sad to hear about the death of Diogo Jota & his brother today. Enjoyed watching him play & felt that he could always make a difference. You can be on top of the world one moment & then it falls apart the next. So sad.Thoughts are with his family and loved ones