"What are you smoking?" Grandpa's ashes "that's a funny strain name!" Strain name?

"SHUTUP DIRT MAN!" I scream at my letter addressing the scam caller who rang my phone. But oddly enough, the words did not appear on the paper 🤔

VERY cool tip, some apartments include free heating. Yank this off of your wall and you can connect a crypto mining PC instead. You can generate heat AND money!

My sick elderly grandad escaped last night. He looks like this. If you see him, PLEASE return him post-haste

I was outside and stepped on some kids skateboard and went on a 45 minute journey going WOOAAAHHHHH! through busy intersections and moving men carrying big mirrors until I collided with an oil barrel and then a pillow trick. NOW I LOOK A FOOL! AND PROM'S TOMORROW!

And then God said: "y4/$jPW;jJo8z6/D?oYV_{^=Rfe*$8 Password Strength: Strong"

HELP PLEASE! I'M DROWNING IN A SHPWRECK! Oh wait... nvm I'm just watching a youtube video

WHY MY MOUF FUGGIN BURN! All I did was drink hot tea too fast, eat overcooked pizza right from the oven and microwave more of it for too long later.

You ever drink all the 2% milk then the 3% and then you go for the 10% half & half and its just not enough so you have the %35 cream?

I never paid for the damages BCUS I NEVER DID THE DAMAGES! What now playa 🤓

Here's $50,000. Okay. Okay. Alright. Yup. Okay. Okay? yeah. Alright.

*massive pot of boiling spaghetti and meatballs spills over my fine suit* BUT THE BALL IS TOMORROW!

HELP THERE'S A SKULL INSIDE MY HEAD!!!

I have a sunburn. Okay Apple Toothbrush send brainwave.

I'm waiting for AI Freaky Bob to exist on social media and be actually funny.

Dell is having a convention today or something. I thought Dell died on January 1st 2000

Please! PLEASE!!! PLEEEAAASE!!!

Will not be going to Orlando Florida any time soon. I'm stuck in a rat trap.

HELP! I sneeze SIX times!!!

You didn't touch the rod yet right? oh...