When you sleep over at a friends house but you wake up before them.

Slogan for a 9/11 or Iraq/Afghanistan war anniversary sales event “All will save some but some will save all. So come on down...”

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I long for a simpler time in America when politicians were folksy and crowds cheered sincerely and without irony when Adam Sandler sang “and smoke your marijuanica”.

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IS IT FRIDAY YET??? ok let’s pretend it is and celebrate with an UBER DELIVERY OTH. 🥵🥊 LIKE & RT 4 your chance 2 win. (winner announced today, 1/15 @ 4PM PST) #howlin

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TV anchor tip: You should PAUSE before reading the top story. 😮

So I was watching those Beyond Belief Fact or Fiction videos and someone in the comments mentioned how if you put it at .5 speed he sounds like a depressed drunk on the sidewalk trying to get your attention, & so I did, and I've been wheezing badly at this for the last 7 minutes

Jade Helm is finally happening.

Ever wake up one morning and realize you text like your father?

In time of need, American people look to Budweiser Clydesdales for support.

Mastercard donated $5 million to cancer research but have they ever flown in space? #ownedbybranson

The clearest & most concise analysis of just how historic this election is - for the North, for Ireland as a whole & the future of what was once called the United Kingdom…

Neil Jackman x.com/cianmaher0/sta…