I’m rethinking my life. Pitbull at number 5? My kids would disown me. 2020 was a shocker and no mistake.

Twitter will now never not be the app where people go to argue with strangers and pretend they're doing it to educate or support instead of hubris and ego.

Sorry to come across as a Scrooge, but as an oncologist who is on a #COVID19 ward rota to help out our amazing acute medicine colleagues, I think it crucial to publicly state the Christmas relaxation of public health measures is a very bad policy mistake. It will cost many lives

Everyone ringing jingle bells at 6pm on Christmas Eve - magical! Mary from Harrogate came up with the idea, what a lady! Bells on sale with cash going to help vulnerable local kids here➡️bit.ly/3qvuc7R Bring on that Christmas spirit!🥰Locally supported by Thirsk School

Thank you Andy Market Garden Leeds for delivering my first fruit & veg box. Everything I usually use and lots more beside for £15! Seasonal, local & terrific quality. V happy customer. Thanks 🤩

Even though I agree with what Tom Cruise said, his point was completely lost by yelling. There’s never a need or an excuse. I’ve never paid heed to anyone who has ever yelled at me, teachers included. When you yell you’ve lost control and look ridiculous.

1 more week until all the "boy done good", "my entire world", "he's been", "I said yes!" and all the Michael Kors bag photos

We barely recognise them these days! ✌️😉 The Chase

Wondered when we’d hear about Jared.

Chris Rea's full name is Christmas Rearrangements.

Trains packed like it’s the last train out of Saigon. Boris tried. Sadly a significant minority of the UK are selfish whiners who lack backbone & common sense. No thought for the vulnerable at all. We’ve reached peak stupidity friends.

Thinking about the hardship & sacrifices my grandparents experienced during WW2. Time to ease off the histrionics about missing one Christmas Day maybe?

Not you too Clapton 😩

Someone's replaced my passport photo with a picture of a marzipan fruitcake - I think my identity's been stollen.

I don’t know anyone more relentlessly optimistic and ‘glass half full’ than my other half. Following today’s PM conference about border closures, he said “that’s it then, we’re totally screwed”. Bleak times. #Covid19UK #COVID20 #PrimeMinister #dover #Kent

Watching Daddy’s Home 2 with the family. Best Christmas movie everrr. Lovely stuff.

Happy Festivus one and all. First one without Jerry Stiller which is so sad. There will be a one minute silence before The Feats of Strength in his honour. #Festivus #serenitynow #nobagel #airingOfGrievances #jerrystiller #Seinfeld

Hi Team@AsdaServiceTeam. Can’t tell you how bad my kitchen smells just now 😬Thought it’d still be ok but it’s very off. Could you help me arrange a refund please? Thanks 👍